look at me look at me look at me

there is this gaze
it assumes
fills in the ________ gaps
not asks questions
patronizes
it knows better
it is awfully mistaken

ever since i can remember myself
i have been perceived
also ever since have i learned how to disappear
how to aggressively match the gaze
how to create a gap
how to hide in plain sight
how to prepare a lie they can tell themselves

how do you become nothing noone nowhere
who are you the stranger on the other side of perception
do you see me?
or
do you assume me?

u don hav 2 ゜。゜ヾ( ˇ ◇ “ •。)ノ. ゜• ゜the Red Li゜。゜ヾt
– you don't have to p u t o n the red light
mumbles
it is this earworm from way before which was on the radio a lot in the 90s1
it is also something every sex worker hears at least once a night
you are too good (too smart, too beautiful, too healthy, too real..) for this you don't have to do it
“you don't have to wins the pointless antithesis competition!

u don hav 2 flirts boldly with the gaze, which assumes
u don hav 2 is not very brutal about it

kidding
u don hav 2 to just says follow me
down that drain
if you are curious, you don't have to
you know
but there will be raw fish and sharp knives
and you will find your pillow princess at the end of this level!..

the year was 2020 and people were shocked into home isolation,
some were gentrifying onlyfans, others were compulsively subscribing.
we meet here (in this text) now some eras later
in the nearly asexual internet2 future

Let us talk about holes, voids, caves, cavities, slits, cracks, crevices, gaps!..

If you're not careful and you noclip out of reality in the wrong areas, you'll end up in the _______ .

you see a “girl” in a silver evening gown
at the bar
classy, classical
close your eyes
she is not real
she is– online

Here you go show girl, where is the ____ show?!

She slides down.

Her body arches, muscles contract. She flips, turns, writhes.

Her tail lashes against the floor. The gills open and close searching for water.

Her body curves, then snaps back.

Over time the motions become weaker and less frequent, transitioning from strong thrashing to

small spasms, slight throbbing.

not to overtheorize it, but
i am a pro-horny artist,
condensed my artist statement would read “whatever makes you horny! really!”

Now, honest question, I want to get to know you better, what do you feel when you watch porn:
do you fantasize yourself into receiving or giving or all at once? are you the pillow princess?3
what do you feel watching her cut that fish? are you fish you are fish are you fish


me, I personally do think, that cutting through the fresh cold fish flesh with a sharp knife is sex, to
have a good bite of raw fresh fatty salmon is an equivalent of a glorious amount of pussy in your
mouth

from here on the text is mouth-full

Or!. Maybe it is some necrophiliac phantasy
A girl cutting in her own flesh
Please! Be my disgusting guest!
all of my surfaces are for you to project

but also duh!
blood and flesh lusty lesbian vampires
is the only mainstream representation we had until quite recently

bite her! eat her!
EAT HER!
i would have eaten her right away with the whole chair she is sitting on

wet it up, lick, chew, swallow, bite, lick

some gaps holes should never be filled
we dip not penetrate
swallows

back to the gaze!

i once read a study about pornography using the term lesbographic as a negative neologism,
i tried to find any other scholars applying this term, but it is very unique and still this brilliant
wordmaker wrote overwise very dull text,
so here it is for the grabs, barely touched:

“l e s b o g r a p h i c ”

such a great word, use it!
i want to apply it as a quality to everything i would ever do.
I hope my work and life and recreation will never cease to be lesbographic!

Cum shot!

you click the link, which proposes to follow the smell of fish and rose petals, the stream is running for some time already. you are late. the camera is facing a streamer sitting on a big white pillow with her legs wide open, face outside of the frame. excessive pink led light renders the moving figure to colorful surfaces and assumptions. you assume a female figure with legs wide open with a weird glowing sci-fi bush in between those legs, you watch for a while, then you press enter and wander through the site till you arrive at the [stream] (video of which is now a part of the video archive of Moving Discourse)

April 2026 | @nnast_antn

performance u don hav 2 ゜。゜ヾ( ˇ ◇ “ •。)ノ. ゜• ゜the Red Li゜。゜ヾt

premiered in September 2020 as a part of Next Waves Theater Series for Volksbühne Berlin and was designed for digital consumption. Here the audience encountered @nnast_antn as an anonymous streamer via the website (archived running under https://www.nnast-antn.net/start), which forms a labyrinth of possibilities to get in touch both passively and actively. Created in the context of the pandemic lockdown, “u don hav 2” among other things uses ASMR as a technique to put visitors in an affective state, to suck them in and to create a digital space that allows and promotes lust, but also irritates. In “u don hav 2” @nnast_antn explores the ways of producing intimacy as an online service, without users having to be deliberate about their needs.

1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3T1c7GkzRQQ ↩︎
2. a person who contributes to lesbian sex mainly through timing, looks, and atmosphere rather than physical touch, or someone, who is assumed to be a bottom solely based on their feminine appearance
   ↩︎